When I was little, I used to feel like something or someone was listening to every little thing I said or wished for, and that if this mysterious presence overheard me exclaiming how excited I am for the summer months, they would make the time in-between go by in a flash, cut my life short and punish me for being so unappreciative. As I sat across from Kat, one hand curled round my mug of hot chocolate, I was taken back to that angst-ridden time, and felt the urge to correct myself by adding,"but I don't mean to wish the time away of course!" as if to deter this powerful, invisible listener.
I'm sure many of you will relate to this kind of thinking - I explained it to Kat and she said she was exactly the same growing up. I'm a bit older and wiser now, and have a better handle on mindset. What a shame it would be to not allow myself to look forward to summer! There's a difference between not appreciating time and being excited about the future. And nothing bad is going to happen if I admit to myself that I am looking forward to jetting off the Greece in June and donning a bikini for the first time in yonks! Part of the fun of big events such as holidays, festivals or parties is looking forward to them... I suppose it's kind of like how the build-up to Christmas Day is often the best bit... although having said that I hope my holiday reaches (or surpasses!) my expectations... but anyway you get the gist.
I feel sorry for past me, feeling bad for looking forward to a school trip to the theatre or a house party - and I don't want present me to feel the same way - guilty for no good reason. Being excited for a future happening doesn't mean I sacrifice all the time in-between and condemn it as time I don't appreciate. So I am looking forward to summer, I am looking forward to going to the beach, I am looking forward to not having to do uni work... and the list goes on and on! :)